Movie Moan: F**k You Jamie, Duplicity!

The battle between Jamie and Kristina blows up into all-out war in this episode.......and all over a disagreement about Julia Roberts career.

But before that, Jamie jumps into the fray alone to review 'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1'.  How can someone who hasn't seen the other films even begin to understand it?  You're about to find out. 

Phil saw something equally pointless this week in the new documentary 'The People vs. George Lucas', poof positive that some people still can't shut up about 'Star Wars' even if we have.

In the news, the Golden Globes prove they don't care about the feelings of the celebrities they want to honour with golden trophies by hiring Ricky Gervais to host it again.  The seeming futility of a 'Doctor Who' movie rears its head again, and Jamie has something personal to tell Bryan Singer directly but you're invited to eavesdrop.

Finally, there were so many trailers this week to talk about that we had to skip the 'moan of the week'.  From the success of 'The Hunger Games', the earnestness of 'Brave', and the horrors of 'Mirror, Mirror'.  Will Jamie and Kris still be speaking to each other by the end of the show?

Movie Moan: Johnny Shitmovies

We recorded this show on Sunday November 13th 2011.

November 13th was the day we learned just how little Johnny Depp cares about his profession anymore.  November 13th was the day we found out the depths to which he had sunk.  November 13th was the day Queen Kristina give him the finger once and for all.  But to find out why, you'll just have to watch.

On the menu this week, Phil backs up Jamie to review 'Immortals' (which isn't as ungodly as you might imagine).  But Jamie is totally on his own to review 'J.Edgar' and 'Jack And Jill'.

In the news, Ratner and Murphy are out while Graser and Crystal are in to produce and host the Oscars but will it make a shread of difference?  Meanwhile, we give our thoughts on the trailer for 'Snow White: Fuck Yeah!', or 'Snow White And The Huntman' to you.

Finally, the moan of the week is another winner from Kristina; 'Brothers' from 2009.

Movie Moan: Do Androids Dream Of First Class Damn Dirty Apes: Ghost Protocol - Part 12

The deluge of unnecessary sequels that is the current Hollywood trend has even spread to our own podcast this week.  We're so swamped talking about unoriginal films that we don't have time for our usual 'moan of the week'.

However, Phil brings you his exclusive (in only that you Yanks don't get to see it till December for some reason) review of Steven Spielberg's 'The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn'.

The official Movie Moan countdown to Bond 23 (now officially titled 'Skyfall') begins and Phil and Jamie couldn't be happier.  Ridley Scott's return to 'Blade Runner' for an official sequel is the only reason we would want to talk about it.  The sequel to 'X-Men: First Class' attempts to join the 'G.I.Joe: Retaliation' school of follow ups to first films that didn't do very well at the box office.  We discuss the new trailers for 'Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol' and '21 Jump Street' (with divisive opinions all around).

Finally, the sequel to 'Rise Of The Apes' is officially on the way.  No doubt, the official title will be 'Before The Planet Of The Apes' or 'Damn Dirty Apes' or 'Virus Of The Apes' or 'Wrath Of The Apes' or 'Apes II: Banana Boogaloo' or....

Movie Moan: Slow Motion Satan

We're not even trying with our titles anymore, but at least it tells you what this week's show is about.  The main focus is a mammoth 40 minute ode to Tim Curry's performance in Ridley Scott's 'Legend', one of the greatest villains in cinema history, in my humble estimation.  Oh sure, we talk about the rest of the film as well.  It's our 'moan of the week'.

In the news, we're not exactly bursting with excitement over the new trailer for 'Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows', we have one more bash at the folly of adapting 'Akira' into a live action film, and are more than a little intrigued by the latest Bond 23 rumours that suggest 007 will sport a beard and going on his usual 'save the world' travelogue on a restricted budget.

Movie Moan: For The Honour Of A Horse

The stakes are sky high in Paul WS Anderson's visionary remake of 'The Three Musketeers'.  Never mind that England and France are poised for war or that Cardinal Richelieu wants to dethrone the king; the whole film is about the honour of one horse.  Phil will tell you all about in his review of this hilariously bad (but never boring) film.

Meanwhile, we thought there might be hope for seemingly pointless prequels and remakes thanks to quality films like 'Rise Of The Apes' but Jamie is here to tells that 'The Thing' does not deserve to join their company.

In the news, Patty Johnson IS directing 'Thor 2', the trailer for 'The Avengers'is dissected, Disney's 'The Long Ranger' rises from the grave like the unholy corpse of a project it is, and apparently it's 'A Good Day To Die Hard'. 

We also have a little conversation on the latest wacky way major studios are shortening the window between theatrical and home media release of their films (but it's really just an excuse to talk about how cool VHS was).

Finally, Jamie punishes us all with his 'moan of the week', the John Landis car wreck 'Into The Night'.  Next time, don't pick a film at random sir.