The Rite

You may be waging war with yourself on whether or not you want to spend the time and the $10 to go sit through yet another exorcist movie. Isn’t it using a familiar theme, you may ask. Yes. Has the priest lost his faith? Yes. Technically this can be multiplied by two. And there’s possession and weird, twisting movements by the possessed? Yes. D: All of the above. However, there are a few variables, which have to be factored into the equation. One, is the writing. Is the script good? I’ll go with option B on that and say its fair. Was the director’s approach executed well?  I’d have to say yes. Was Sir Anthony Hopkins in this film. Big smiley face.

 The Rite, starring Colin O’Donoghue and Anthony Hopkins, as an up and coming priest and an old world exorcist, respectively, hits the nail on the head. Please, pardon the pun.

 O’Donoghue plays Michael Kovak, a young man, who, desperate to please his unsupportive father, enters into a four year program to become a priest, although he admittedly lacks the necessary strong faith or even belief in God. As a young boy, Kovak bears witness to his father (Rutger Haur) preparing the corpse of Michael’s dead mother in their family owned and lived in mortician’s office. I’m sure that probably wouldn’t be traumatic for a kid, but it serves as an opening for doubt in young Kovak.

As he grows older, he basically has the option forced upon him to either continue the family business or enter priesthood. The obvious choice for a religious skeptic is the become a priest, but his doubts convince him to bow out of the program just before being anointed. In an effort to keep him in the program, the Father Superior offers Kovak an opportunity to enlist in a special program in Rome to become an exorcist.

Tempted by the smell of pure bullshit, Kovak accepts and, on his first day in class, questions the professor on the distinction between possession and clinical psychological disturbances within the victims. The professor promptly sends Kovak to meet with Father Lucas Trevant (Anthony Hopkins). The Father offers testimony to Kovak that he ,too, is just a man, and, at times, has his own lapses in faith. Sometimes for months at a time until he feels “God’s thumbnail scratching at my insides”. The action quickly proceeds when a young pregnant woman comes for her treatment to try to rid herself of a supposed demon. Father Lucas issues a laundry list of rules for Kovak to obey while witnessing the exorcism, explaining that, in some cases, it takes multiple attempts by the priest to first identify the demon by name, then, ultimately release it from its host.

 The first attempt is somewhat eerie, using the regular effects of the aforementioned twisting and seizure like movements by the girl, accompanied by a few lines that attack Kovak personally, like “lickety split” : a phrase Kovak’s ex-girlfriend used.  Our young exorcist in training remains unconvinced, but tags along with Father Lucas for house calls the next day, which lands him at the home of a young boy, who maintains that a ghostly mule with red eyes haunts his dreams and tells him unknowable truths and suggests to the boy to kill himself, while leaving large bite marks on the boy’s body. Father Lucas accuses the mother of abusing the boy and then supposedly pulls a toad from within the boy’s pillow rejoicing that he’s pulled out the devil. Before leaving  however, the boy whispers to his mother, while staring at Kovak, to which the mother responds “That’s enough. No one is going to die.”

 The aunt of Rosaria, the pregnant girl, puts in a call to the Father as he and Kovak return, begging for their assistance. When they arrive, they find Rosaria in full demon mode. Complete with cursing an evil laughs and stares. This time however, the episode is accompanied by off screen whispers and echoes, which add a chilling and effective touch to the scene. Kovak initiates conversation with the girl, suggesting that she was suffering from a psychological breakdown brought on by the fact that she was raped and impregnated by her now missing father. Father Lucas works on her to the point of getting her to spit out rusty nails, paralleling those used to stake Jesus to the cross.

 Kovak, still maintaining that this is a mentally sick person rather than a demon, speaks with Angeline, a reporter, who has been trying to arrange an interview with Father Lucas. She tells Kovak of her personal reasons for the interest in exorcism stems from her brother, who, as a child would tell her of the awful things that his voices from within would tell him to do, and how that it ultimately landed him in an insane asylum, where the family basically turned their backs to him.

 One more emergency call finds Rosaria in the hospital, where the doctors to Kovak and Father Lucas that they’ve given her as much sedatives as they legally can due to her pregnancy. More personal attacks are verbally thrown at Kovak in English from the young Italian girl and sinister, inhuman voices emit from within her. The girl, once left by the priests, ultimately dies, along with her unborn baby, and the demon creeps its way to another host. One whose faith has been rattled by the loss of the girl. One that, once inhabited would serve as an exorcist’s worst nightmare.

 Kovak receives word that his father has had a massive stroke back at home and has entered a coma, and is set to leave Rome, but is delayed by a problem with the airline. He receives a phone call from his father. “Where are you? Where am I?” his father asks. “I’m scared. They’re hurting me,” he continues. The phone momentarily fills with static and the doctor tells Michael that his father has been dead for several hours. Then there’s about a five minute mind fuck, where Kovak is tortured by the same echoed voices from Rosaria’s exorcism, which lead him outside where he comes face to face with the red eyed mule.

 With Angelina, Michael goes back to boy’s house where he discovers that the whisper to him mother was, in fact, the boy saying that Kovak’s father was going to die. When asked who told him that, the boy says “you know, you’ve seen it too”, obviously referencing the mule. The two race to Father Lucas’ home to find him sitting in the rain following his stumbling trip back to his estate after being overcome by the demon and backhanding a small girl who asked him to bless her doll.

 They go inside and its apparent immediately that the Father is battling for control, taunting Michael one second, and insisting on being tied up the next. They do tie him up, and being unsuccessful in finding an experienced priest, return to attempt the exorcism.

 From that point on, it was the Anthony Hopkins’ School for Gifted Actors. Rattling off insults and mockeries of both the priest and the church and even God himself, Hopkins transforms not only in character buy physically as well. And I was really proud to see that they didn’t over do the special effects. I mean, lets face it, Hopkins is a scary bastard as is. I’d believe he’d eat my liver without all the added makeup. We have a great underscore and a lot of good camera work, again supported by the off screen echoed voices and a chilling performance to create one of the more intense scenes in this genre of film that I can remember. With me, it’s the subtleties that make or break a movie. Over the top will run it every time, despite what Sylvester Stallone said back when he was an arm-wrestling truck driver.

 The constant barrage continues until Michael has his “ah HA” moment, which I like to refer to as the Hulk Hogan Effect, where we see our hero battered and broken and seemingly defeated until he gets that last bit of power. That last spark, when the Hulkster’s finger starts waving back and forth and he rises to his feet. That comes when Kovak finally admits to the demon, and more importantly to himself, that he does believe in the devil, but in doing so, so believes in God. Its that belief that finally gets to the demon to identify himself by name and is purged from Father Lucas.

 If the tags are be believed, the men upon who the story was based are still practicing exorcisms to this day.

 So, if you’re still trying to decide, let me just say, while its not the best movie I’ve ever seen, The Rite does have plenty of good qualities. There are some appreciated shots of Rome, some decent camera work in the filler scenes and some pretty damn good ideas on how to make you sit on the edge of your seat. To me, it was worth it, but I always want to know what you think.

The Last Exorcism

Lets have a quick show of hands of those of you, who can actually remember the last time you went to a theater and were actually frightened by a scary movie. Go on. Throw them up there. Don't be afraid. None? Shit, me either. 

This weekend was to be the undoing of that unlucky streak of filth, which has been scary movies with the release of Eli Roth's The Last Exorcism, and, damn it, I bought into it. The Mrs. was even excited to rush to the theater to be scared. And, I have to admit, that the thought of my little lady willingly subjecting herself to an aphrodisiac didn't at all sound like a bad plan. But then something happened...we watched the movie.

For those of you, who don't know, the basic plot synopsis is that the film is shot documentary style and follows Reverend Cotton Marcus. Marcus, who's father was also a reverend, started his studying of the Bible and even preaching at a very young age as somewhat of a gimmick to draw crowds into the sleepy little Baton Rouge church. As he grew, he became almost a circus act between the pews, spreading the gospel in a very animated and entertaining way. He even jokes to the cameras that, once he had the crowd where wanted them, he could work his mother's recipe for banana nut bread into the sermon without it being noticed, which he demonstrates. 

He goes on to explain that he's performed dozens of exorcisms through the years, but admits that he's only performing a service needed to someone by using the power of suggestion, and that he himself, doesn't actually believe in demons. 

With an ailing child, for whom he needs to provide with health care, Cotton decides to document his last exorcism and expose it for what it really is. He randomly picks a letter from a stack and heads out, film crew and all to the Sweetzer farm. You get the usual foreboding comments about the place, when he asks for directions and the long, solitary dirt road leading up to the farm house provides you with that tension that lies with isolation. 

So, basically, we have a single father, who's wife died of cancer, because "big city medicine" couldn't save her. As a result of the outside world's failure, he's kept his two teenagers, Nell and Caleb, out of school and basically cut off from the rest of the planet for the past two years. But recently, livestock has been turning up slaughtered and all evidence, like a bloody dress, points toward Nell as the culprit. She, of course, has no memory of this because she blacks out when the demon takes over. 

There's a pretty funny part, in which Cotton performs his exorcism, using an array of magician tricks, like hidden speakers, an apparatus to make the bed shake, moving pictures on the walls and a cross that emits steam, when a button on the back is pressed. Almost makes you wonder if they really do that stuff.

In any case, Cotton gives his version of the "this house is clear" speech and rolls out to hotel before leaving the next day. During the night, however, who should appear at the hotel? None other than Nell, herself. Presumably under the influence of the demon, Nell sits silently, staring into nothing until she starts to vomit. Cotton and the film crew rush her to the hospital and contact her father. All tests are fine and she's sent home with some nausea medicine. 

 Once back at home, Nell attacks her brother, Caleb, with a kitchen knife and Caleb slips a note to Cotton, which reads "Don't leave her alone with him". Cotton stays with Nell, while her father takes Caleb the hospital. When they go to visit her in her room, the film makers and Cotton find her locked in her room from the outside and chained to the bed. They unshackle her and head off the bed. 

Then the good stuff starts happening. I won't completely ruin it for you, but, with that said, you've seen all the good stuff in the previews. it was very much like one of those comedies that you think you have to see, because of all the great one liners from the previews, but once you drop $20 to sit in that squeaky seat you realize that the only funny parts of the movie were in the previews. 

There are a few minor twists and turns in the third act that really set up a good scenario for the ending. And, I'll admit again to buying into it. I thought we were going to get something new and exciting, but it ended up being like at the prom, when you make all of the proper arrangements. You know, you wash and wax the car. You get the perfect tuxedo and the right flowers. You have reservations at one of those restaurants that cringe when they seen teenagers walk in and you have all the necessary precautions and lubrications for a fun filled night. Then, just when you think you're about to seal the deal, your date slips out the bathroom window and leaves you embarrassed and alone. Wait, that didn't happen to you? Me either. No, but you get my point. The ending of this movie negated all the good things leading up to it. With the last panicked few seconds of shaky filming and one final lop, it was like the entire theater collectively said "that better not be it", and then the credits roll. I mean damn.

Eclipse

Hey, did you guys know there was a new movie released this week to go along with the Twilight saga? Yep, Eclipse, the third installment in the series hit theaters Monday night at midnight, and it seems that you can’t go anywhere without hearing something about it.

I like to keep my reviews somewhat light on spoilers, but, for those of you who don’t want any knowledge of the film before seeing it for yourself, you may want to skip to the next article.

It starts off with an opening scene that, at that point, I considered to be the best of the trilogy. In a way, it mirrored the opening scene of The Lost Boys, where the cop runs from the camera, scared for his life by whatever was after him. There’s a lot of quick, sweeping camera movement that can never quite catch up to what we as the audienc knows to be a vampire, but is scaring the bejeezies out of the teenage boy in peril. The scene cuts away with him looking down at his bleeding hand and screaming.

Obviously the movie picks up right where New Moon left off with Edward trying to get Bella to agree to marry him and Bella trying to get him to turn her into a soulless, bloodsucking monster of movie making proportions. I’m sorry. Is that politically incorrect? The agreement is still in place that he’ll turn her after graduation and they’ll be wed, but as the film progresses, although she never admits it aloud, she seemingly has second thoughts due to the fact that she would have to say goodbye to her family and Jacob forever.

You remember Jacob, right? You know, Sharkboy. He plays a bigger part in this story, and the tension between him and Edward over Bella’s affection provides some much needed comedic relief that I personally didn’t think existed in the first two movies.

With a new (and old) threat on the horizon, Edward agrees to leave Bella in Jacob’s care while he joins his covenant to feed and prepare for an upcoming battle with a clan of newborn vampires, who we learn is stronger than older vampires, because some of their human blood is still in their body. I guess that’s how it is in Washington. Down in Bon Temps, LA, the older the vampire is the stronger they are. But that’s a fang of a different color, I guess.  

During her stay with the wolf pack, so to speak, Bella is subject to a story about the tribe’s past that explains the on-going war between the wolves and the “cold ones”.

To match that bit of history, we also get separate back stories on Jasper and Rosalie.

It was during the history channel version of Rosalie that I realized why I was enjoying the film more than its predecessors. It actually had a little grown up material in it. Although, thankfully for the younger crowd it didn’t show it, she eludes to the fact that she was gang raped and left in the street to die before she was turned. Then, of course, she took her revenge on all of her assailants.

Another big plus was the improvement of special effects. I hated, HATED, the scene in the first film where Edward climbed the tree with Bella on his back, because of the obvious cable work. It looked cheap. I’m thinking maybe the director saw the same thing, albeit too late, and decided to go a different direction. They also created a new method of destroying vampires, in which they crumble like stone statues. It was a pretty impressive idea when dealing with younger audiences. Especially since one of the main scenes ends with a decapitation. I would assume that a preteen girl would much rather see broken concrete lying on the ground between a body and its head.

So, all in all, it really was a pretty decent film. You have the obvious love triangle between Jacob, Bella and Edward. You have the immediate duel threat of the vampire army and its leader, along with the looming threat of the Volturi, who watched over the entire proceedings without interference, and then Bella’s weighted decision of leaving her life behind her. All that topped with a smoother arrangement of special effects and camera work makes for an unexpected fun time in the theater.

Iron Man 2 Opening Day Review

So, I wasn’t privy to the early screening of Iron Man 2, like I had hoped. I waited until 5.07 just like most of you. It was a day I was especially looking forward to, because, as a rarity, I got to spend time with my dad, while watching it. The bad part was, as we were walking out, we both said, “I wish Robin Hood had come out this week”.

For the play by play version of the review, you can check out by buddy Mitch’s review HERE. I’m just going to give you an overall description.

Right from the beginning I got this stressed sense of urgency, which just set a bad, crowded pace from the word go. Or maybe, instead of go, it was the ridiculous scream Rourke’s character lets out when his father dies.. It leads right into Ivan Vanko using his father’s blue prints of the arc reactor to build the weaponized vest he later uses as Whiplash and drills home the fact that Vanko hates Stark Enterprises and blames Tony personally for what happened to his father. You find out later that he had been partners with Howard Stark in creating the arc reactor, but was forced out by Stark due to his greed. So, bad opening scene.

Then, well, more bad. Tony does the big entrance to the Stark Expo that we’ve all scene 100 times over in the previews. I’m going to use the word hate here in reference to how I felt about it. Tony Stark, our supposed hero, is, for lack of a better word, pimping the Iron Man suit as a gimmick. I didn’t like the fact that he told the world he was Iron Man in the first movie, so you can imagine how I felt about him parading around to dancing girls and laser shows. Actually, I didn’t mind the dancing girls.

It was definitely a sequel. And I mean that in the sense that they took the best parts of the original and beat them to death. Everyone loves the smartass, sharp tongued, better than thou Tony right? Can’t get enough of it? Wrong. You can only lay witness to so much bragging and showboating before you come to realize that our main character is a douche. Maybe that’s what they were going for. To show a character flaw. It came off as annoying, though.

And if the good guy’s being portrayed as a shithead, you have to out do his douchiness with the likes of Sam Rockwell’s Justin Hammer. Think of Jim Carrey playing Edward Nigma in Batman Forever. Hammer shares that same jealous rage for Tony Stark that The Riddler did for Bruce Wayne. Only, instead of completely overacting the part like Carrey, Rockwell decided to try to rip off Owen Wilson’s shtick with the whiney, comedic voice. It didn’t work, by the way.

Keeping with the upping the ante theme of sequels, the holographic schematics in Tony’s workshop were over done. When he had his all too easy epiphany after looking at an old model of the Stark Expo, Tony decides that a globe looks like an atom and goes to work on creating a new element. There was a cool little easter egg  here with an all too familiar shield, which, although half destroyed from an obvious battle, still displayed the star emblem in the center. I guess my problem with it was just how easily all of his problems were solved. Even the end scene with Vanko was a little anti-climatic.

The story really wasn’t bad. There was a decent plot. It was just the fill material that dragged it down. That, and, even though there wasn’t really THAT much going on, the way the scenes were cut into short segments made it feel like they were trying to cram too much in. Although it wasn’t anywhere in the same vicinity as being as bad, I kinda’ got that Speed Racer feeling. I know. That’s harsh. I understand the studio rolling this out for the income, but, with what they're wanting to accomplish with The Avengers, I don't think any of the character movies should have been given a sequel beforehand. 

Maybe I’m being a little hard on it, because I was looking forward to it so much. And I’m sure there are going to be plenty of you that disagree and love it. But, at the end of the day, I was left wanting more. Just not more Iron Man.

This Week on DVD: Surrogates

This will be the first of a weekly article I'll be writing in which I review one new DVD release and either recommend it or rip on it. Remember, my opinion is just that, so don't allow my rants to dissuade you from any home entertainment. But, if you share the same views as I do on other articles I've written, obviously you're not an idiot, so you might want to listen up. I might save you four bucks that would have otherwise be wasted. 

Surrogates I didn't follow this one very closely when it was released in theaters. I do remember the TV spots being a little vague and ambiguous, but it stars Bruce Willis, one of my favorites, so I decided on it for this week's topic.

The basic synopsis of the film, without being spoiler heavy, is that, in an alternate present day, the best intentions of creating robotic driven bodies, similar to a Terminator, to replace the broken bodies of handicapped humans goes awry and presents the opportunity for any average Joe Schmo to purchase a machine version of him or herself, made to that person's exact specifications. Pray that, in a time when celebrity worship is at its worst, this never becomes a reality. I already see enough skin and bone versions of females walking around between purges. 

The machines work by way of a neural connection with the operator, who literally never has to leave their seat. The appeal is that, by cutting yourself off from the world, you eliminate, to a certain degree, the risk of disease or injury. You can also be anyone or anything you want. But don't we already have enough of that? I can sit in my chair in the sanctity of my own home and write whatever I want, whether its how I feel or not (which it always is) and you would never know the difference. The story touches on the importance of human interaction. You know, that face to face thing, where you can actually see a person laugh out loud instead of reading "LOL". 

Recommend Its definitely a sci-fi movie, which may be an initial turn off to the ladies, but guys, if you can get your sweetie to sit down and watch it with you, it might sway her into the mood for a little human interaction. And it may make you decide to limit your time on Facebook...for a couple of hours at least.