Yep, Smallville: Absolute Crap

Everyone is now dumber for watching that. I award you no points. May God have mercy on your soul.

Before I get started, can anyone tell me who I can contact at WB to get that two hours of my life back? I feel like I was just mugged by Robin Hood and his oh so merry men...in costumes from the high school drama club. Was that mace made out of paper mache? 

Where do I start? Seriously. There are so many great points to touch on. No member of the cast or crew can possibly be happy with what was just aired, although I'm sure the ratings went up after all the internet hype this show got. On the flip side, I'm guessing that even some of the hardcore weekly viewers were put off by that catastrophe, which may aid the campaign to put this mangy beast out of our misery. I know WB has been draining every penny they could out of this, but hey, even Travis had to shoot Old Yeller in the end.

The show has always had that feel of an awkward reject that was stuck somewhere between day time soap operas and low budget, made for Lifetime movies, but at least, for the most part, the acting from the regular cast is passable. I won’t persecute the regulars, because we pretty much know what we’re getting from them week to week, but these guest stars…someone must be held accountable.

 Whether it was Michael Shanks’ pitiful attempt to blatantly copy Christian Bale’s Batman voice every time he donned that ridiculous Hawkman mask or Wesley Maclnnes’ over acting that would have made Jim Carey’s Riddler look like a Buddist monk, the performances were nothing more than atrocious.

 I suppose, though, that it must be hard to fully get into character when you can’t possibly connect with the script. The one scene where Clark was looking through the Hall of Justice and rummaging through the old super hero gear would have had potential had it not been surrounded by so much garbage.

 Oddly enough, that garbage mirrored a DC mini-series from 1986 entitled Legends, in which Icicle (yeah, he really is a DC character) joins with an ant-justice group at a time when America turned against its heroes and outlawed costumed crime fighters. So, I don’t know if I should give kudos for using a comic arc, or be even more disappointed that the writers were so unoriginal that they used a failed story line from 24 years ago.

 In any case, the show sadly fell even below my already rock bottom expectations. Its sad to see that a concept with such great potential has turned out nothing better than what it has.

 I always want to hear from the readers. And if you liked the episode, PLEASE comment. I’d love to hear an argument for it.

Pitt and Reynolds May Have a Shootout

Gunsmoke, a radio serial that ran from 1952 to 1961, overlapped a television series by the same name that started in 1955. The popular gunslinger American western show ran for 20 years, ending in 1975 after producing 635 full episodes. The show's focus was on the adventures of Marshall Matt Dillon as he struggled to maintain order in a small Kansas town filled with vagrant misfits with the assistance of the town's physician Doc Adams and Miss Kitty Russell, the owner of the local tavern. 

The character of Dillon on the radio series was voiced by William Conrad, who was publicly shocked and, to a point, embittered by the fact that he was not invited to resume the role once it transition to the screen. Instead, the relatively unknown, but well publicized (introduced by John Wayne in a short trailer for the CBS TV series) James Arness, became the infamous lawman. History, as it seems, has a way of repeating itself.

Enter Brad Pitt and Ryan Reynolds. Both men are reportedly unholstering their guns to take a shot at leading role of a proposed Gunsmoke movie based on a draft by Gregory Poirier (National Treasure: Book of Secrets) which is said to be well received by studios. 

Pitt has already saddled up in western flicks like "The Assassination of Jesse james", which makes him the rumored favorite, but Reynolds has also done a great job reinventing himself from the quippy one-liner comedian to a rising action star. He's currently attached as the lead in Warner Bros. "Green Lantern" based on the DC  super hero.

 Its a toss up for me. I like them both. One thing's for sure, with a concept that ran for twenty years on television, we'll be hearing a lot more on this once a director is named. 

Are You Old Enough for Cop Out?

It looks like Kevin Smith, one of my personal favorites starting way back with Chasing Amy and Mallrats, may have done it again. Cop Out stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as NYPD partners on the trail of a gangster, who has allegedly stolen a rare, mint-condition baseball card for his collection. Jimmy (Willis) sees the caper as his only opportunity to fund the upcoming wedding for his daughter, while Paul (Morgan) has trouble focusing on the task at hand when comedic rumors surface about his wife's supposed acts of infidelity. 

I was scared, at first, that this may parallel the likes of "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot", but realizing now that Smith is behind the lense, and with the Tag line "Rock out with your Glock out", this may prove to be a sharped tongue comedy to add to my collection. Check out the Restricted Trailer below. Adam Brody, Kevin Pollack, Guillmero Diaz, Sean William Scott, Jason Lee and Anna de la Reguera round out the cast. Cop Out opens in theaters February 26.

This Week on DVD: Surrogates

This will be the first of a weekly article I'll be writing in which I review one new DVD release and either recommend it or rip on it. Remember, my opinion is just that, so don't allow my rants to dissuade you from any home entertainment. But, if you share the same views as I do on other articles I've written, obviously you're not an idiot, so you might want to listen up. I might save you four bucks that would have otherwise be wasted. 

Surrogates I didn't follow this one very closely when it was released in theaters. I do remember the TV spots being a little vague and ambiguous, but it stars Bruce Willis, one of my favorites, so I decided on it for this week's topic.

The basic synopsis of the film, without being spoiler heavy, is that, in an alternate present day, the best intentions of creating robotic driven bodies, similar to a Terminator, to replace the broken bodies of handicapped humans goes awry and presents the opportunity for any average Joe Schmo to purchase a machine version of him or herself, made to that person's exact specifications. Pray that, in a time when celebrity worship is at its worst, this never becomes a reality. I already see enough skin and bone versions of females walking around between purges. 

The machines work by way of a neural connection with the operator, who literally never has to leave their seat. The appeal is that, by cutting yourself off from the world, you eliminate, to a certain degree, the risk of disease or injury. You can also be anyone or anything you want. But don't we already have enough of that? I can sit in my chair in the sanctity of my own home and write whatever I want, whether its how I feel or not (which it always is) and you would never know the difference. The story touches on the importance of human interaction. You know, that face to face thing, where you can actually see a person laugh out loud instead of reading "LOL". 

Recommend Its definitely a sci-fi movie, which may be an initial turn off to the ladies, but guys, if you can get your sweetie to sit down and watch it with you, it might sway her into the mood for a little human interaction. And it may make you decide to limit your time on Facebook...for a couple of hours at least.

Sega Releases the Trailer for Ironman 2

I never played the Ironman game on a home console. I did try out the PSP version. The game play was pretty fun, but the controls were irritating, using the triangle, circle, square and X buttons for movement rather than the directional pad. Hope they worked it out in the sequel. 

A fan favorite might actually get the Spiderman role.

Access Hollywood reported that Billy Bush spoke with Logan Lerman about the Spiderman reboot, suggesting that it would be a good move for the Percy Jackson & the Olympians star to make an effort to obtain the role of Peter Parker/Spiderman. Upon the mention of the reboot, Lerman quickly stated that he knows all about it and that, as a fan of the character and the series, he is very interested in the prospect of being cast. 

Bush asked, "who reached out to who? Did you and your management people reach out to the producers and filmmakers, or vice versa". Lerman simply stated "vice versa". So, now we know, from the proverbial horse's mouth, that the studios are interested enough in him to make contact. He did follow up, however, that he'd like to "focus on the human element a little bit more". That goes along with what we've heard Marc Webb is wanting to do with the franchise. I wonder if Logan has seen the script. Me thinks so. So, is this the guy we want?

Click HERE for the entire phone interview.

Does the Fast Make You Furious?

An involuntary sigh escaped from my body, when I read the news that yet another Fast and Furious film was going to be made. I mean, yeah, I knew it was going to happen. Universal grossed $350 million worldwide with 2009's installment of the series, making it their biggest earner of the year, which proves the dreaded fact that audiences are still willing to overlook Vin Diesel's one dimensional acting ability as well as Paul Walker's surfer dude persona that oozes out into every movie he makes. Seriously, Ben Stein has no business giving his money away on a game show. He should be helping to support Vin, his illegitimate, monotone son, who apparently can't get any work other than these high octane flicks. But enough about the actors. Let's talk about the title.

Chris Morgan in penning "Fast Five". Sorry, Chris, I think that title has already been used for a movie about two brunettes, a blonde, a red head and one mysterious gal that wears wigs all the time working the corner down the street from my pal Pete's apartment. None of them are real blondes as it turns out. "Fast Five"? Really? Maybe Chris took Mia Wallace out on a date and got the idea from her story about Fox Force Five. Ketchup for those hip readers that know what I'm talking about.

The article says that the two lead characters Dom (Diesel) and Brian (Walker) will be fugitives being pursued by legendary lowmen. God, I hope its Tommy Lee Jones. 

Here's the quote from Latino Review. As always, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Universal Pictures is hitting the accelerator on a fifth installment of "Fast and Furious," titled "Fast Five."

Studio has closed deals with Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, director Justin Lin and producer Neal Moritz to return to the franchise, which has become one of the studio's most lucrative.

Diesel and Walker sat out the third chapter in the series but returned for last year's fourth installment, which was the highest-grossing "Fast and Furious" film and Universal's top grosser of 2009. Its box-office haul was more than $350 million worldwide.

Chris Morgan is writing "Fast Five," marking the third time he and Lin have teamed for a "Fast and Furious" film. The story finds protags Dom (Diesel) and Brian (Walker) as fugitives being pursued by legendary lawmen.

Lensing will begin later this year for a 2011 release.

Original Films' Moritz has produced every film in the series, beginning in 2001 with the "The Fast and the Furious."

Universal's Jeff Kirschenbaum and Franklin Leonard will oversee the project for the studio. 

Will the Justice League Movie Ever Be Made?

Probably not. I think that failed titles of the DC universe in the film platform has left a bad taste of corn and stale nuts in the mouths of Time Warner executives. Even 2006's Superman Returns left audiences with, shall we say, a less that super opinion about the film.

However, hopes still rode high after the sleeper movie Batman Begins wowed us the year prior to Brian Singer's box office kryptonite and spawned the colossal sequel The Dark Knight, which left fans and critics in awe. With life rejuvenated, DC Entertainment has carried on the the growingly anticipated Green Lantern film, which will star Ryan Reynolds. You didn't think they really sewed his mouth shut in that horrible Wolverine flick, did you?

Jeff Bewkes, Chairman and CEO of Time Warner Inc., said Tuesday that we will soon be hearing more about plans to "mine more aggressively the deep catalogue of DC Comics characters". My first thought at hearing that was a fear that he'd follow up with announcements of preproduction on Plastic Man and Mr. Terrific to be directed by Brett Ratner. He did calm my nerves a little by clarifying that they're looking at opportunities across the scope of not on theatrical but home video, TV and games divisions. 

With the announcement of its plans to reboot the Superman franchise, I highly doubt there are any plans in the near future to move ahead with a Justice League movie in the manner that Marvel is carefully cultivating their Avengers roster, but you be the judge. Below is an excerpt from the announcement.

"We are going to have a fairly interesting set of announcements and presentations pretty soon like in a matter of weeks, I think, about our plans for DC," Bewkes said. "And basically if you look across the title of the whole band of hits whether its Batman, The Dark Knight, Green Lantern coming up, Superman, there have been a huge number of franchised films that have been part of the Warner [tent pole] strategy that's been the reason for Warner's unparallel high and consistent earnings advantage over the other studios and DC has already been a part of that and we are now going to outline an even more expansive plan for that in the coming months."

Let me know what you guys would like to see happen. Who knows? They might be listening.

Wanted 2 Goes Global

IGN was able to have a little sit down with Mark Millar and discuss the direction in which the sequel to 2008's Wanted will be going. Millar touches on the fact that the first movie followed very strictly to his creation in the beginning, but toward the middle, the film escaped the boundaries of the comic's pages. He's apparently working closely with the writers on the script for the second film, which he says is almost complete. 

The basic synopsis gathered from the interview below is that he wants to take the characters into other countries and attack Fraternities on a world wide scale. Fraternities being the league of trained assassins. Not the drunken 19 year olds throwing the keg party down the street. Hey, did I just give someone a good idea for a script or what? I want royalties. Check out the video for the entire interview and...um...let me know if you can understand him.

More Wanted 2 Videos

It was just a mumble!

Okay, so Mel Gibson's The Edge of Darkness opens in theaters today. I've got to say, personally, I'm pretty excited to see it. Its on a rare occasion that the Mrs. and I drop the kiddies off and actually go see a movie together. This is one for which I think we'll make arrangements. I'm not sure if Dean Richards has bought his ticket yet, though.

In a live satellite interview with Mel, Chicago's WGN-TV reporter Dean Richards stumbled off the subject of movie promotion when he asked Mel if he thought the public would perceive him any differently after all that's been in the news about the Aussie actor the past several years. When asked for specifics, Richards pin pointed the DUI arrest in which Gibson rattled off a few less than favorable phrases.

"That's almost four years ago, dude," Mel replied. "I moved on. I guess you didn't".

The interview gets back on course and they quickly finish up, once again mentioning the movie.

Nothing spectacular there...until Mel thinks the live feed has been cut and he mutters "asshole".

And people seem to have a problem with it. Look, maybe I'm a little bias here, because I am a huge fan of Mel Gibson's work both in front of and behind the camera, but cut the guy a break. He's upped your ratings by appearing on your show to promote a movie. Let me say it again. To promote a movie. And you have the audacity to bring up his faux pas from four years ago? Everyone has things in their past they don't like mentioned. Do you really want someone to put you on the spot on live television and bring up how the guys in gym class duct taped your butt cheeks together? No. Because that person would be an asshole.