Movie Moan - Phil and Jamie Blew Their Money On 2012
Sun, November 15, 2009 
Despite stating he wouldn't, Jamie turned out to be a lying asshole - shocking ten people. Yes, he paid money to see 2012 this weekend. Phil did as well, but he made no such statements the previous weekend thus putting him in the clear. Their reaction to Roland Emmerich's latest destruction porn epic is discussed on this week's Movie Moan.
Along with Mr. Ed Hocken, our heroes chat up the latest news of the week including the final nail in the coffin that is MGM, Phil's ill-fated Thor audition, Marty being the precursor to The 40 Year-Old Virgin and Jane Lynch. Spider-Man 4 casting rumors have been swinging left and right as the guys also discuss the "interesting" similarities between the Spider-Man and Superman films. Phil gives his final Avatar predictions and trailer-reactions to Kick-Ass and Clash of the Titans.
And what would any podcast be without mentioning Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans? AKA how Nicolas Cage likes to kill your grandmother!
Reader Comments (3)
Ah, man. It's too bad it wasn't like the good ol' times at NowLive. If I would have called in, you would have heard a rant on 2012 like you would not be...
Well, I take that back.
Phil & FNJ, your thoughts echo much of mine. I would have sounded much like an echo, preaching to the choir.
My excuse for sitting through this long winded dribble was simply to see:
* Some nice visual FX, not just CGI, but models, perspective and matte. Emmerich tends to use the FX as tools and not just all CG. That I respect.
* Popcorn movie
* The Day After Tomorrow, Emmerich's previous film, had some characters worthy enough to care about. ID4 was silly fun. While I wish Emmerich would do more stuff like The Patriot or Universal Soldier...hell, even StarGate, I always thought he was improving as a director.
* I like John Cusack. Mostly from the 80's and 90's, but I like John Cusack.
* I like Amanda Peet. Mostly in other films, but I like Amanda Peet.
And the best excuse of them all? I was late for the film I wanted to see (the new film with Phillip Seymour Hoffman) and instead of going in ten minutes into Pirate Radio, on a whim, decided on 2012. Okay, I KNEW you guys would buy that excuse...
2012 started off **great** I LOVED the first ten minutes of this movie! Loved it! But there was something nagging at me. Ten minutes or so in, it's all set up for the "year" 2012. John Cusack's character hadn't shown up yet. In the first ten, we are introduced to Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and I was duped to think, you know, this is working. I didn't mind Danny Glover playing the President [Morgan Freeman played the Prez in another disaster/end of the world film, the Mimi Leder directed Deep Impact] and then there were hints of a global conspiracy/cover up and POW this thing was rolling at a brisk pace.
Then we get to 2012 and the John Cusack character. Failed (but sold) novelist who as the FATES would have it:
*is a limo driver to a Russian Businessman named (what else?) Yuri, his nooty grandkids and his mistress. That damn dog too. It is the snooty kids who tip off Jackson to The Big One. Yuri must not like his boxer son all that much, and, boy, how about the timing of his takeoff? Right on the money!
We later find out that his ex-wife's new hubby, a plastic surgeon, gave the Yuri's mistress breast implants. Jackson was unaware of the connection; that the same surgeon took flying lessons but failed, thus going to med school instead. He is a bad pilot, he says. Not once but twice. The second time he says it boggles the mind. He really didn't seem like a bad pilot after all. He flies a plane like Jackson drives a car. You know what I mean.
* Meets with Helmsley. I didn't mind to co-incidence too much as it pays off nice in a later scene with the two most interesting and likeable characters,the second being the Prez's daughter, played by Thandie Newton. That scene?
"Take for example this book. Sold only 250 copies. I met the author by chance earlier today. He's probably dead by now. But I'm going to be on the ship, as is this book. This book survives him, and now it will be part of our history"
That scene was brilliant. Why wasn't there more scenes like this?
BECAUSE
The mis-step of the film is that we have to see as many FX as possible, the world blowing up to kingdom come. This is so much evident that in the film's own narrative, we find that some actions characters take wind up being in vain. The search for a map turns out some nice FX. Who really needs the map? They run into another party who knows where to go. Attempting to stowaway on a ship? Indirectly causes the deaths of three people, yet, if they had waited, they would be onboard anyway. Two out of three would have also lived. The damn dog too.
The dialog was painful to hear. Some of it was even on the nose. It made me think that either the characters were idiots, or that the filmmakers are being self aware and take us out of the film in doing it. ("Nothing will come between us" as the ground gives way between two characters)
But the biggest sin was the conspiracy angle. It was buried in the film, soon becoming unimportant. When it is brought up after two LONG hours, the ending of this film puzzled me. Those responsible directly or indirectly will never be punished; if those involved in the cover up included the workers (who supposedly would be backstabbed) and "the rich" then here we have a whole bunch of selfish bastards and bitches (dogs too) who are shown mercy and allowed to come on ONE BOAT and not the boats which hold the other international leaders. The "stowaways" nearly cause the deaths of those on THAT BOAT, and save the day, and that damn dog too.
Billions of people have died. Millions of buildings turned to dust. Majority of land bubbling in lava or underwater. Your friends, collegues and some of your relatives? All dead- some of them you helped snuff out. Not to mention that in the New Civilization currency is bullshit you're all damn broke and guess what?
You're all still alive! CELEBRATION!
Glad you liked it sir ;)
Considering Nic Cage's money woes, I expect to see a bunch more movies from him in the next few years. Hopefully some will be good.