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    « Movie Moan - Phil and Jamie Blew Their Money On 2012 | Main | Memo To The Executives: Dune »
    Friday
    Nov132009

    Friday the 13th Sequel Will Be Jason’s Swan Song 

    In other breaking news, DNA results just revealed I am in fact the spawn of James Cameron. What can I say? He couldn’t keep his hands off my mom. Fuck you, bitch-monkeys. I’m outta here! I’ll spend the rest of my life living up coke and whore habits off Titanic money.

    But seriously, Pajiba has some updates regarding next year’s Friday the 13th sequel which doesn’t have a greenlight or director assigned (more on that below). But it does have an August 13th release date looming over it. So it’s time to think up new ways to off horny, pot-smoking camp counselors.

    Their source(s) state screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift have specifically instructed they are to kill off Jason Voorhees – thus concluding the franchise. For real. Yeah, I totally believe that too. I mean it’s not like they’ve ever sworn up and down, “This is it! We swear!” Someone involved in the entertainment industry lying? The Hell you say. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, anyone?

    As for who will replace Marcus Nispel in the director’s chair, they point to visual-effects artist Richard Wardlow as the “most likely” choice. Now this, I can believe. His filmography includes Dogma, X-Men, Looney Tunes: Back in Action and Drag Me to Hell. He also has experience with 3-D, and this “final installment” will partake of that gimmick…err...technology. What a coincidence.

    Reader Comments (2)

    Yes, you are right. If the next film makes a a dime in quick profit, they will bring Jason back from the dead, most likely via lightning/electricity. Worst case is that they don't, and "Jason" is an impostor (like New Beginning). Not that anyone really cares. Speaking of which, they don't even "know" that Wardlow will direct or not. Fridays could be made fast and loose like they did in the 80's because of formula and low budgets, and nobody really cares.I'm sure they will find somebody to go through the motions.

    11-14-2009 | Unregistered CommenterDarren J Seeley

    Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. piwnnm piwnnm - suprayouth.

    10-24-2011 | Unregistered Commenterncafvx ncafvx

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