MovieMoan: The Original Series episode 3 - Moaners of the Carribean

Hey folks, just before you sit down to enjoy this year's Oscars (and our podcast right before it), why not enjoy another YouTube enhanced episode of the original MovieMoan series.  Here's the deal for those of you who don't yet know what our show was about:

"It never fails; a film, a series, or a franchise show so much potential for cinematic glory. We think we know how good it's going to be. We think it would be impossible to screw up such a good idea........and that's why we get so darn angry when it happens. If you still have bottled up rage about how your, potential favourite films turned to poo........then Movie Moan is for you.

Tackling everything from the giant movie franchises of the past and present to the films you want to talk about, we won't just be discussing how these films went wrong. This is your chance to dream, pitch, and imagine how bad movies could have been so much better."

So sit back, relax and enjoy as Jamie Williams and myself set sail for a rip moaning adventure on the high seas of dissapointment with the Pirates of the Carribean trilogy:

'Wall-E' singer pulls out of this year's Oscars

 

One of the pet peeves that many of us avid Oscar viewers have had each year when watching the telecast is the displeasure of having to sit through the five nominees for 'best original song' performing each one live, taking a massive 20-25 minute chunk out of an already overlong show.  All of this to honour songs whose only contribution to the film, in most cases, is making sure the end credits don't play in silence.........and to sell a few soundtrack albums.

Because I believe that the Oscars is a television show first and an awards show second, I started to accept that they would never let this tradition go as the songs have just become part of the entertainment package along with the jokes, the monologues, the opening spoof and the bloody montages. 

But bugger me, the Academy has actually nipped this cliche in the bud this year, albeit with one slight hiccup along the way.  One of the scheduled performers, Peter Gabriel, has decided to pull out performing his song at all.  'Yahoo Movies' gives us this: 

The singer has pulled out of performing his Best Song nomination on the awards show after producers, in one of their many concerted efforts this year to increase telecast ratings and otherwise shake things up, limited him to just 65 seconds on stage.

His nominated tune, "Down to Earth" from Wall-E, clocks in at just under six minutes.

"I'm an old fart and it's not going to do me any harm to make a little protest," Gabriel said in a video posted to his website. "But the ceremony should be fun and I'm looking forward to it."

My good buddy Jamie told me they were shaking things up this year but I never thought they'd do that. It's a shame that Gabriel has pulled out and reducing the length of the songs (of which there are only three nominees this year) seems to make them almost completely redundant as a catergory anyway but this is a good enough compromise for all of us who have long wanted them gone completely from the show.

The only problem for me is that I used to use the song performances as a toilet or a tea break. I suppose I'll just have to do that when Hugh Jackman bursts into song this year.

MovieMoan - The Original Series: The Matrix Moaned

 

Hello again my special friends, Phil Gee here delivering (on time thank goodness) another round of YouTube enhanced MovieMoan.

For those who don't know yet (cause I haven't properly explained it but the name sort of gives it away), here is the pitch for our old live show 'MovieMoan':-

"It never fails; a film, a series, or a franchise show so much potential for cinematic glory. We think we know how good it's going to be. We think it would be impossible to screw up such a good idea........and that's why we get so darn angry when it happens. If you still have bottled up rage about how your, potential favourite films turned to poo........then Movie Moan is for you.

Tackling everything from the giant movie franchises of the past and present to the films you want to talk about, we won't just be discussing how these films went wrong. This is your chance to dream, pitch, and imagine how bad movies could have been so much better."

And there's no better candidate for that than the Matrix sequels so sit back, relax and enjoy as Jamie Williams and myself eviscerate the Wachowski's masterwork in our own Matrix trilogy:-

Slam Evil - A Look Back On 'The Phantom' (1996)

In the first of a series I shall be calling ‘Defenders of the Crap’, Phil Gee will be taking you on a wild journey through his DVD collection to explore some of the piss poor movies he owns but, for some reason known only to himself, is very fond of.

I’d like to think I have good taste in film folks. I think I know a good film when I see it. I don’t waste my money on any old crap. But I do spend it on films like ‘The Phantom’. Why you ask?

Because ‘The Phantom’ has a lot to recommend it. It’s a film with heart, some wonderfully witty and warm performances, likeable and interesting good guys, a horrible bad guy you can’t wait to see get killed, incredible production design that brings 1930’s New York City to life as if it leapt from a pulp novel of the actual period, jungles, scary caves, evil pirate lairs, and the only time in my life where I’ve found Billy Zane remotely likeable.

Are you sold yet? Ok, I don’t blame you. I said Billy Zane and you ran away. Let me try harder.

For those not familiar with the story, I’ll fill you in. Actually, it bears mentioning (in one of many unique moments this film has) that the film literally opens with the words “for those that came in late”. It feels like a nice way of addressing people not familiar with the Phantom (and if he hadn’t been in that cartoon show ‘Defenders of the Earth’, I wouldn’t either) but we are immediately distracted by the fact that this caption has appeared in the opening ten second mark of the film. How the hell have we missed anything? Does the Paramount Pictures logo contain the secret origin of the Phantom?

Anyway, the Phantom is essentially a costumed do-gooder who lives in the mystical jungles of Bengalla, marooned there after pirates of the Singh Brotherhood kill his father and takes that typical “I swear to fight evil and defend the helpless” kind of oath. The catch with the Phantom is his mantle is passed down from father to son allowing him to continue his fight through the centuries and since the pirates he fights are idiots, they all assume it’s the same guy which earns him the title ‘the ghost who walks’. The film takes place in 1938 and involves Kit Walker, the 21^st Phantom’s efforts to track down the skulls of Tuganda which, when joined together, create the ultimate weapon, and stop them falling into the hands of the current Singh Brotherhood and Howard Hughes.

Oh yes, I said Howard Hughes, In the film he goes by the nom de plume of Xander Drax (possible relation to Hugo, I’m not sure) but watch him as he grabs his hat and coat, heads for his private plane and proclaims “we’re going to the Devil’s Vortex” and tell me it’s not Hughes. You remember me mentioning Drax as a ‘horrible’ bad guy? I meant horrible as in horribly performed, by none other than Treat Williams, who made ‘Deep Rising’ not long after this (as Kevin Smith says, “in Hollywood you just sort of fail upwards”). I can see what Williams was probably trying to do with the character; play him so calmly and laidback that it becomes much more scary when he’s using spears and booby trapped microscopes to kill lackeys. But the guy just comes off as the most laidback, almost effeminate villain in comic book movie history. He makes Judd Nelson in ‘Steel’ look like Alan Rickman. The Joker wouldn’t even waste a pencil on Xander Drax. He sucks.

So the plot is complete bollocks and the villain is completely non-threatening. ‘The Phantom’ is doing well isn’t it?

What holds the film together in-between the superlative moments of weirdness ( more on those is a second), is Billy Zane. I’ll will go on record and say that Billy Zane is bloody awesome in this film as the title character. His Phantom is like a potpourri of some of our favourite cinematic heroes. He has the gentlemanly nature of Christopher Reeve’s Superman, the physique of Batman without the rubber suit (they actually made a rubber moulded suite for Zane but he was so ribbed that he didn’t need it), and the humanity and swagger of Indiana Jones. You like Zane from the second he appears on screen and you completely forget the absurdity of a man fighting pirates in broad daylight, in a most green environment, in an all purple suit........

.....ok, maybe you don’t but I do.

What makes the film most watchable to me though , are the truly bizarre moments of witty dialogue peppered throughout the film. Rather than try and do any of them justice in this article (which would require effort), I present them to you here through the magic of YouTube. I did make this collection by the way, so I have put some effort into this:-

Till next time everyone, SLAM EVIL.

MovieMoan - The Original Series Episode 1: The Golden Compass

 

Hello everyone on the interweb and warm greetings from Phil Gee, the creator (and copywright owner;)) of 'MovieMoan'.

MovieMoan started back in November 2007 when, after several people who heard me call in to another live movie punditry show, bugged me to do one of my own.

I did, by myself, it sucked, I took drastic steps.......

.....I got Jamie Williams.

From the first show we did together, live on the Nowlive network, Jamie and I formed an immediate bond which carried us through a whole year of live shows before the technical problems we were having to deal with forced us to let it go.  Fortunately for me, by this time, Jamie and Peter had invited me to be a part of this fine website and I eagerly accepted.  Now I arrive with the promise of trying my best to make 'thinkmcflythink.com' stand out amongst the huge number of movie news sites out there.

To that end, I decided to take our old shows and do a George Lucas special edition on them by visual 'YouTube' enhancement goodness.

What you are about to see is the first discussion Jamie and I ever had on 'MovieMoan', henceforth known as 'the original series' (with 'the next generation' currently being broadcast on this very site every week); a review of the fantasy epic 'The Golden Compass':-