In 2014, I will have reached my third decade of existence. Such commemoration brings feelings of feebleness and inadequacy when one reflects on their time in years' past. Thankfully Tom Rothman, remembering yours truly doesn't consider him Satan's spawn and has said so on many a platform, remembered this* and decided today 20th Century Fox would announce their big 2014 tentpoles for my amusement:
- A 3D reissue of Independence Day for July 3, 2013. I couldn't sit through this when Ed Hocken picked it for Movie Moan. If I couldn't do that on home video for $5, you think I'm going to shell out $15 just so Brent Spiner's corpse can jump out at me?
- Steven Spielberg's Robopocalypse moves from July 3, 2013 to April 25th 2014. That sound you hear is God smiling down on Guillermo del Toro, whose similar-themed Pacific Rim opened the following week. Now he's been spared the wrath of Spielberg and possibly the breakthrough commercial smash long deserved. And hey, Robopocalypse gets the big day-and-date The Avengers slot.
- When there's no more room in Hell, the Apes will walk the Earth. Sorry, couldn't help it. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes will unleash Caesar & Co for Memorial Day weekend (May 23). How long till the inevitable announcement James Franco and Freida Pinto are no shows?
- The X-Men: First Class sequel, the one I still don't want frankly, has no title. But it has everything else, including a release date - July 18. Two summers in a row, Fox takes the coveted late July slot from Warner Brothers. Is this a pattern?
- There's also release date shifts for some (the Percy Jackson sequel moves from March to August 2013) and other first-time commitments (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty with Ben Stiller for Christmas 2013). But it's big genre fare you care about.