News, Rumors & 100% Grade-A Internet Bullshit - Disney D23 Edition

Right now, the Mouse is whipping their junk out and showing everyone their plans with the next couple of years worth of tentpoles. The Disney D23 convention (as its called) has revealed quiet a shitload's worth of news. So here's what has been shown so far:

- Via Coming Soon, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 already has Jack Sparrow (aka Johnny Depp) returning, a script in the works from creators/screenwriters Terry Rossio and Ted Elliot and a new director in the form of Rob Marshall. Well, they now have a new subtitle (On Stranger Tides), a new logo (shown on the above link...Meh...) and a new release date (Summer 2011). Meanwhile, Pixar’s John Carter of Mars will hit cinemas the following year in Summer 2012. Expect “intense” special effects.

- He’s got so many other cool-sounding projects on his “To Do” list. What’s the harm in more for the great Guilleromo del Toro? As Variety reports, The Hobbit director has struck a deal with Disney to produce darker animated fare with his new “Double Dare You” label that will also churn out books, merchandising and all other kinds of crap the Mouse can think up. Project numero uno will be Trollhunters based on an original story of his. I myself will dare anyone to not be excited about this news!

- Pixar has proven time and time (…and time…) again that they’re 100% about casting the perfect actors for their animated films instead of just grabbing some “Flavor of the Week” asswipe (read: DreamWorks). Further proof comes with the Empire report that Timothy “My James Bond approach predates Craig by 20 years!” Dalton has joined the cast of Toy Story 3. The Flash Gordon actor (who jokes aside was an awesome 007!) will play Mr. Pricklepants, a hedgehog toy with “thespian tendencies.” Also from the same article comes confirmation to what many of us suspected in term’s of the “threequel’s” plot. Andy grows up and the toys are on their own. Expect “When She Loved Me” reactions next summer.

- Speaking of the World's Greatest Film Magazine, that Cars sequel that nobody cares about has an official plot synopsis that involves a countries-spanning race, a British secret agent (presumably not 007) and a "Hitchcokian" mistaken identity case concerning Larry the Cable Guy's Matter. Look, I think Cars was great and a solid entry in the Pixar library. But whose honestly clamoring for a sequel to it?

- Oh and that awesome sounding Muppet movie that Nick Stoller and Jason Segal (the director and star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall that they also wrote together) are working on? It has a title - The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made. As per Coming Soon.