iPhone 5 Parody. Longer IS Better

Let me preface this post with, I LOVE the iPhone. It's all the technology I could ever want right in the palm of my hand. I can look up the nearest Indian restaurant, locate the closest CVS for antacid, and find a hotel to sleep off my food coma, just with a couple taps of a screen. Girlfriends and wives are jealous of it but use it to replace us. Pretty soon the iPhone will be walking our dogs. Endless possibilities.

Does it make us lazy? Absolutely. All of "Sofamerica" was already in dire need of taking a brisk walk, now with the iPhone we are well on our way to our neighbors witnessing the authorities smashing a hole in the side of the house to remove our bodies once we die of fat overdose. You know those bloated people in Wall-E? They all had iPhones. So try to still do things on your own and not rely entirely on the flawed Siri system. Thanks.

All of that aside, below is a fantastic parody on the release of the new iPhone 5. Watch it, laugh, then thank me later.

Oopa, Deadpool Style

Korean artist PSY has become an international sensation recently with his hit song "Gangnam Style". It's a catchy tune with a very simple dance that mimics riding a horse and a few other funny movements. The video above is a parody of the already odd and humorous offical version with Deadpool going around asking people to join him in the fun. The guy dressed as Deadpool has a few other videos that have become a hit online such as Deadpool vs ComicCon and Deadpool @ ShadowCon 2010. 

Brain Warped Moose Attacks Man In Vermont

A Vermont man decided it would be a good idea to film a deranged moose as it destroyed the hood of his car. The moose didn't take kindly to starring in it's own video and began stumbling and bumbling towards him. Apparently the animal had some kind of brain malfunction, hence why it was acting so awkward. I like how the mooose is wandering around with a tree branch on it's head as if he is sporting camoflauge.

Hollywood Chamber of Commerce Has Strict Anti-Talentless Whore Policy

Dads. God love em, they just don't know sometimes.

True story: my old man once asked me, "What's the deal with these Kardashians? Why are they famous?" When I explained it all boils down to Kim Kardashian's Ray J sex-tape, he had that look you make when you bite into expired food and said, "I'm sorry I asked!" Sometimes it's best not to know what crap is deemed "hip" in pop-culture.

Having fucked her fat-ass as close to the top as she's ever gonna get, Kim now wants a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Hollyscoop was awesome enough to ask the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce on her chances:

"She has not been nominated. She is a reality star. We don't do reality stars. She needs to get a real acting job then come to us."

Awesome as that rep is to say that...isn't that a tad bullshit? Isn't it as simple as having the money to buy a star? Not that I'm defending the Kardashians of all people.

Fake Action-Figure Commercial for John Carpenter's The Thing

"Oh no! He's got Windows!"

This thirty-second slice of geek-genius is even funnier for those old enough to remember the toy line based on Aliens that looked nothing like the characters from James Cameron's classic sci-fi actioner (the Bishop design springs to mind!)

What Did Gordon Do For Those 8 Years Between Dark Knight & Dark Knight Rises?

The Harvey Dent Act in effect, crime off the streets and Batman nowhere in sight, what did Jim Gordon do to kill time for 8 years? Nothing lurid, this is Commissioner Gordon we're talking about! No, Bats' pal discovered video-games, according to this fan-edit.

Don't know if Christopher Nolan would approve this as official cannon... but he should!

Kids Making Cookies With Play-Doh Fun Factory

I just saw this commercial on television a couple days ago and thought I was high for a second. I wasn't, it's an actual commercial with kids making really awful cookies by threading the dough through what looks like the same contraptions used in the Play-Doh fun factory. Either Play-Doh is branching out or they are running out of ideas just like Hollywood.

The Movies' Ode to Baby Got Back

In celebration of Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back (In the public eye for twenty years!), the fine gentlemen at Don Draper Says What remixed the one-hit-wonder perfection. As played by the movies.

Brownie points for including whoever can include Casablanca, Howard the Duck and Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.

Idiot Brings Gun to Bourne Legacy – Appropriately Shot in Ass

Don't wish ill-will on a fellow human being. But what in God's name would make this "56-year-old man" (Local authorities wouldn't disclose his name... for the sake of ridicule?) think it was fine to bring a gun, permitted to carry or not, to a movie theatre? Did the jackass miss the Aura, Colorado tragedy?

It was a month ago! To be fair, when you're dumb enough to bring a firearm to a public arena, and you're not a cop, common sense took the night off.

No word on if his boredom during said screening, The Bourne Legacy, caused the gun to become self-aware and shoot him for picking such a shitty movie.

Source:  Yahoo News/Associated Press

Welcome to the Bat-Theatre

A fun question to entertain yourself with is, 'What would I do if I won the lottery?' Some people would say buy a enormous house, some would say a couple of really nice cars, and a select few would say donate to various charities. Call it only child syndrome or just being plain selfish, but the last thing on my mind with all that money would be giving it away to support a cause.

A personal fantasy of mine is having a home theatre installed in the house for viewings with friends and family of any movie we want to see. Someone has taken that a step further and created a fantasy within a fantasy. What could be better than a personal theatre in the next room? Having that theatre themed as the Batcave.

Elite Home Theatre has given us a peek at one of their clients' request. It's said that this persons house is already fashioned after Wayne Manor and now they will be able to add an extremely cool Batcave theatre to the mansion. It features a sliding book case which opens to revel the Batmobile, the Batsuit, and a fingerprint scanner for access into the theatre.

Now the easy choice can be made should I ever be lucky enough to land the winning numbers of the powerball. If there are any of you kind hearted people out there that would donate your share to charity, then keep in mind that I am now founding one of my own for a child in need.