Volkswagen Super Bowl 2012 Spot Is Wonderful - Until It Shoehorned Star Wars In

Last year, Volkswagen by all account "won" the annual competition of who could deliver the best Super Bowl TV spot. You remember it was about the little boy in his Darth Vader costume, to the tune of John Williams in the background, trying to use the Force at home. Perfectly cute li'l ad and you could see how everyone flipped out for it even if you’re not a Star Wars fan.

Well, here is Volkswagen's follow-up commerical to play this Sunday:

Absolutely no reason for there to be anything Star Wars related here when the commercial was already adorable on its own about a dog getting into shape. 

This Kid Is Way Better Than You At Hockey

Oliver Wahlstrom is back, he's real, and he's spectactular. The kid isn't even 10 years old but he wowed the interwebs with this ridiculous goal in the Mini 1-on-1. The kid made Sportscenter and was interviewed on top morning shows around the country. Guess what, he's done did it again. Hey parentals, hide your daughters, this kid is the hockey version of Bieber.

TheNoseBleeds

Madden Predicts Super Bowl Winner

Don't feel like watching the Super Bowl this weekend? You don't have to. John Madden has simulated it via his ever popular video game series. You can view the highlights below. The funny thing is, I can see the game going exactly the way the video game version played out.

The only time the simulation has not predicted the winner was last year's Super Bowl and the last time the Giants & Patriots met in the big show.

Tennis Actually Is Fun Sometimes

Tennis is boring as all heck to watch. I'm sorry, I can't sit there for six hours and watch two dudes grunting and groaning as they hit their balls around, and that is just a Williams' sisters match. Zing?

I will say, Williams' sisters included, tennis players are the most incredible athletes in sports. Dexterity, agility, all that stuff. Sometimes they like to give their shirts to blonde girls in the front row but giant chicks don't like that.

What about a ball boy that makes better plays than most all shortstops in the major leagues? Most likely because half of the shortstops are from "parts unknown" and are really 10 years older than they claim.

Ferris Bueller Will Return This Super Bowl

I know I'm in the minority here.

But part of me cringed seeing Michael J. Fox "reprising" his iconic Marty McFly character from Back to the Future for that Scream Awards ad two years ago. Yeah, it was great to see Fox (fighting Parkinson's disease with class and dignity) appearing to be in good shape and spirit. But some characters need to stay youthful. We don't need to see how they look twenty-plus years on. Part of what we associate with characters like Marty is his youth. Probably just an overreaction on my part, but I digress.

Coming Soon has noticed this teaser commercial featuring Matthew Broderick evidentially returning as the equally-iconic 80s teen hero Ferris Bueller (from John Hughes' great Ferris Bueller's Day Off) promoting...something...on the Super Bowl.

Your guess is as good as mine as to what this is for.

Don't Eat McNuggets Every Day Or You'll Die

If you eat anything every day since you were 2, you most likely are going to not see fantastic results in many areas of life. If the "food" comes from McDonalds, then fuck your life.

I like chicken McNuggets as much as the next human being, but Stacey Irvine has been eating ONLY McNuggets for 15 years. McStacey's addiction to the suspicious meat tenders finally caught up with her when she collapsed and was rushed to the hospital struggling for air.

Shocker? I mean you would think this girl would be a blauser, but she looks pretty fit for somebody whose been scarfing McDonalds practically since birth. This is what McStacey and her mother had to say about it.

McStacey

‘I am starting to realise this is really bad for me.’

McStacey's Mom

‘She's been told in no uncertain terms that she'll die if she carries on like this. But she says she can't eat anything else.’

Daily Mail

Who is He-Man Talking to?

It's actually taken from this kid's video-diary and someone had the good (or sick?) sense of humor to animate He-Man in his place. Presumably confessing his love for Teela, or maybe Skeletor, who knows?

Mark Wahlberg Reportedly So Powerful He Could Have Saved the Titanic

Maybe it's my generally being an idiot, but Mark Wahlberg always struck me as one of those celebrities with a dose of common sense running in his veins. That is until he opened his mouth to Men's Journal about how 9/11 would have really gone down had he been on one of those fateful planes.

Plenty of words came to mind after reading that; jackass, moron, schmuck, etc. Thankfully this being the Internet and with the advent of Photoshop (whether or not one actually has a skill with that tool), courtesy of Sher Dog, the world can now know how things would have taken place... if Mark Wahlberg was there to stop it...

The crucifixion of Christ, Titanic sinking, assassinations of JFK; it's nothing for Marky Mark dusts off his shoulders and preparing for action.

Sweet Penalty Kick, You Missed

I think this guy is trying to pass the ball to his teammate and be all slick like but fails miserably on all counts. Instead he looks like the Billy Cundiff of penalty kicks and completely miffs it. The announcers and players laugh at him but I don't know what he is saying because Youtube doesn't have automatic translations of all languages.

Tennis Ball Against The Wall

When I watched this video I started laughing and singing the "Tennis Ball, Throw It Against The Wall" lyrics. Then, it took a turn for the worst like a really down and dirty M. Night flick. Now I feel both sad and horrified at the same time. I don't understand what just happened. I feel like I need a shower.