DVD Review: The Brothers Bloom

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a solid "con movie" once in awhile. Some recent examples would be the "Ocean's 11", "Oceans 12", and for those who lost count, "Ocean's 13". One of my favorite "con movies" and one of the best of all time in my very humble opinion, "The Sting". These films sometimes let us in on the secret and sometimes they let us think we're in on it, but this genre needs to keep us guessing and entertained at the same time.

"The Brothers Bloom", lensed by Rian Johnson, giveth the con and then taketh away, only to do it all over again...and again. Considering the title one would think that this would be about two brothers with the last name Bloom, but surprisingly that isn't the case. This story is about two brothers, Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom (Adrien Brody) there last names never are mentioned.

Bloom was thrust into playing the role of a Con-Man at a young age courtesy of careful planning and plotting by his brother Stephen. As they progress in age Stephen continues to embrace the role of maestro, orchestrating elaborate cons and enjoying every minute of it along with his deadeye Asian girlfriend who answers to the name of Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi). Bloom on the other hand feels as though he has never really been himself, and merely a pawn in game after game being controlled by his brother.

Early on in the film the brothers skillfully begin to set up a filthy rich eager young woman named Penelope (Rachel Weisz) who lives alone in a fortress like mansion. Although Bloom attempts to distance himself from this world, his brother drags him back in with the greatest of ease. Of course the beautiful and very eligible sophisticate ends up as a love interest to one of the brothers and fills in admirably in the role.

The twists and turns in this film would confuse even M. Night wearing an Alfred Hitchcock mask, although said twists are both interesting and fun. You almost find yourself competing with the rest of the viewing audience as to where the multiple cons begin and end. However the amusement eventually gets tiresome and you can only ride the coaster a certain amount of times before getting sick to your stomach.

I can't put my finger on when this film ended but in my mind it was long before the credits started to roll. I found myself wishing for a tighter more polished version of this film because of the large amount of delight there is to be had. The film is easy on the eyes, as the characters bounce from such exotic locals as Montenegro and Serbia.

Johnson attempts to create a timeless feel which he achieves for the most part despite the bright yellow sports cars and cell phones. The film tries not to take itself seriously but seriously misses the mark when drama and emotion are needed. The acting really helps you throughout he confusing areas of the film. Weisz is refreshing as Penelope and plays the wide eyed rich girl with a wry smile. Ruffalo is likeable despite his incessant disregard for his brother's feelings. You believe that Brody really wants something more even if he can't turn his back on his family to achieve his goal.

A decent entry into the Con-Genre by the thirty-something Johnson and not a bad follow up to the much talked about "Brick". If Johnson can tone down the "Look at me" factor in his next film, he can deliver a movie both endearing and compact with enough dramatic action to put asses in the seats and keep them there.

Grade: C+

Amusing 'Stuntmen' Is Worth Your Time

Perhaps more than any other type of movie, mockumentaries can best be graded in one of two ways: Is it funny or is it painful to sit through?

As fans of the genre know, all movies by the Christopher Guest troupe fall safely in the first category. Outside of those movies, however, is where things get dicey.

If you have ever sat through a feature-length mockumentary that just isn't funny, you know true pain at the movies.

Luckily, Eric Amadio's new film, "Stuntmen," falls in the first category as an amusing movie overall with a good number of laugh-out-loud moments.

As my friend, with whom I watched it, said, "It was a pleasant surprise."

Having said that, "Stuntmen" does start off sort of on iffy ground for the first few minutes or so, but it soon finds its footing.

The movie is a mockumentary about two guys who are up for the much-coveted title of Stuntman of the Year (at least in this movie's universe). And, predictably, the two rivals hate each other.

On the surface, the movie is about the two stuntmen -- Eligh (played by Marc Blucas) and Tank (played by (Ross Patterson) -- but, as it happens, the two title characters end up being the least interesting characters in the movie.

Faring better is the documentarian, Steve, who is played by Chris Tarantino.

Before setting off to interview the stuntmen for his documentary, Steve decides it is a good idea to take up a fake accent -- in order to give his documentary "more credibility."

His use of the accent of indeterminate origin leads to one of the movie's funnier moments. When one of the guys he is interviewing asks, "What kind of accent is that?," the interviewer stumbles a little before responding, "Well ... it's a foreign one."

Outside of those three characters, the movie is lined with recognizable faces.

Ray Wise ("Twin Peaks") does solid work as a guy who was born without a sense of humor. As a coping device, he has developed a fake laugh (and his fake laugh is good for several real ones).

Brandon Routh ("Superman Returns") plays the agent of one of the stuntmen and Zachari Levi ("Chuck") and Joel Moore ("Grandma's Boy) play the agents of the other stuntman. The agents have amusing scenes alone and then, near the end of the movie, together.

In my opinion, more scenes from the three agents -- and less from the two stuntmen -- would have been benefitted the movie.

Dominque Swain ("Lolita"), Timm Sharp ("Undeclared") and Carly Pope ("Popular") do well in limited roles.

Overall, "Stuntmen" is an amusing 90 minutes. Is it as good as the Christopher Guest mockumentaries? No, but that is an extremely high yardstick for any mockumentary to measure up to.

Is it amusing and worth your time? Yes. Go ahead and take a chance on it. As any stuntman will tell you, life isn't worth living if you don't take a risk or two.

***

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G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra (mild spoilers)

I started smiling the second the Hasbro logo appeared on screen.

Yes folks, ‘G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra’ must hold the distinction of being the first motion picture which features a toy company logo in its opening credits.

And it’s entirely appropriate too. The film is a 100 minute toy commercial or the live action equivalent of one of the earlier episodes of the cartoon, which were commercials in disguise. And if this particular episode had one of those public service announcements at the end, the lesson would be that you should never trust a Scotsman and nanomachines can do ANYTHING.

I mean they destroy national monuments, melt heads, turn heads to metal, turn heads into other people, brainwash dames, erase a man’s fear, and if you get bitten by a poisonous snake they can push the venom out. God, nanomachines are awesome. I hope Hasbro starts giving some away with Burger King meals.

But I have to concur with my fellow web pundits, the movie is huge fun. When it focuses on the good guys fighting the bad guys it’s a wonderfully zippy bag of candy containing huge sets, fun characters, the most ridiculous toys you‘ve ever seen (including pistols that can fire tornados), incredibly cool action sequences and every penny of the budget is on the screen.

Director Stephen Sommers is said to have been largely influenced by the James Bond films of the 60’s and it sounded like hot air but by the ghost of Cubby Broccoli, it has that vibe in spades. So much of the fun of this film is just drinking in the absurdly larger than life production design that creates the headquarters for the Joes and Cobra. Destro lives in an underwater arms factory decked in silver metallic surfaces and moody blue lighting (with an express elevator which leads to the Polar ice cap surface) while the Joes train in a huge underground cave called ‘The Pit’. Try to imagine if Blofeld’s volcano lair in ‘You Only Live Twice’ was renovated to add a holographic shooting gallery and a water tank for underwater vehicle training and you’re on the right track.

As a James Bond fan, and given that the current Bond films are far too steeped in reality to provide it, it is glorious to see a film these days where the good guy gets captured and taken to said evil lair only for an army of back-up goodies to arrive to blow up the place and stop some recently launched nuclear weapons. It’s been so long since we’ve seen this that it feels fresh.

The action sequences really show a film like Transformers 2 how it’s done. They set up the geography of a location, THEN they blow it to pieces, interspersed with character moments (we’re not talking Lord of the Rings here but it helps), gradually building up the fun and absurdity and leaving the best bit until the end. The Paris sequence is so enjoyable and thrilling that the finale at Destro’s base can’t really top it but plenty of Bond films have had that same problem. Now I’ve seen the film I’m pro-accelerator suits. I’ll gladly admit to that; they’re awesome.

However, when the film stops to provide anything resembling character depth, background in the form of flashbacks or simple conversation scenes, it falls flat on its face. It’s a shame too because the film was clearly written with the hardcore Joe fans in mind. It tries so hard to give us origins and motivation for Destro, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, Duke and the Baroness, and for Cobra Commander but it’s mostly unnecessary, doesn’t mesh with the film as a whole and only emphasises how truly awful 99% of the dialogue is.

The comparisons to ‘Team America: World Police’ are totally justified. Not only does the Eiffel Tower collapse but Duke and Ripcord have a training montage in the Pit and Duke even rides a motorbike in the rain to show how sad he is (though regrettably not to the tune of ‘Pearl Harbour sucks and I miss you’). But the film pilfers so much from the first X-Men movie as well. The main hero of the piece gets recruited by a team of super individuals after he is attacked by the bad guys. The good guy HQ gets infiltrated and the leader of the team gets badly injured, taking him out of most of the film. The two sides fight each other in a mass population area in the middle of the film and the bad guys actually accomplish their goal. One of the villains is a shape shifting master of disguise who leaves the film on a cliff-hanger note after assuming the mantle of a very important character. It’s almost a remake.

Let’s talk about the characters themselves shall we? Channing Tatum is inoffensively bland as Duke though I really can’t buy him leading G.I.Joe should that happen in a sequel. Marlon Wayans is surprisingly un-annoying as Ripcord. I actually liked the guy. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje’s English accent as Heavy Duty was hard enough for me to understand most of the time so who knows how the rest of you will fare trying to make out what he’s saying. The same goes for Saïd Taghmaoui as Breaker. Rachel Nichols is really cute and looks good with a crossbow. Dennis Quaid plays Dennis Quaid but that’s ok. He does the job.

Jonathan Pryce plays the US President and it is sadistically funny watching him say "It’s up to the Joes now". You were in ‘Brazil’ for the love of God. How the mighty have fallen.

Poor Snake Eyes, what have they done to you? He’s a mute character and all he has to do is look cool but that rubber mouth they add to the character completely destroys any chance of it. Byung-hun Lee fares a little better as Storm Shadow. Despite being a ninja who knows nothing of the concept of stealth, he’s pretty good playing an evil shit who you can’t wait to see get his due. The only poor sections of action are when Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow go head to head. Their sword fights are shot in the same annoying close ups and quick cuts used in Transformers 2.

If you’ve seen any of the clips or trailers then you already know how Sienna Miller plays the Baroness; pure leather clad camp. Meanwhile, Christopher Eccleston is 100% ham as Destro, clearly taking notes from how Richard Roxburgh played Dracula in ‘Van Helsing’. Just wait till you see him in Destro’s metal head. It looks so absurd that I cannot imagine watching him ponce around in it for the entire running time of a sequel.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s eyebrows do solid work as Cobra Commander but the rest of his body isn’t too convincing. He spends the majority of the film stomping around telling Destro how awesome nanomachines are, waving one of hands as if he has a cramp in it. I won’t completely spoil how but the film feels the need to connect Duke and Cobra Commander in a personal way. There are three major problems with this. Firstly, given how true the film stays to the origins of the other characters, I’m baffled as to why such a major detour was taken with him. Secondly, the revelation of his identity near the end of the film is suppose to be a big surprise but since we already know Gordon-Levitt is playing the Commander, when he shows up in flashback earlier on, we can see it coming a mile away. Thirdly, by taking off his mask it completely destroys the mystique of the character and this only become more ridiculous at the end of the film when he adopts a new mask completely encasing his head. There’s no point in him hiding his identity; the Joes know who he is.

It’s all moot anyway; there most likely will not be a sequel. The film will flop and will be remembered by the few who saw it as summer entertainment that actually delivered genuine thrills and excitement.

We heard those rumours a month back about how Hasbro wanted to distance themselves and the G.I.Joe brand as far from the film as possible. I really can’t see why. Apart from the fact that their name appears right at the front of the film, I think every little boy who sees it will want to rush out and buy all the toys. I know I would and whether you like it or not, that’s the true measure of success for a G.I.Joe movie.

Now you know...........and knowing is half the battle.

6/10

Public Enemies

The fastidious director of such hits as 'Last of the Mohican's' and 'Heat', Michael Mann, returns to cinema screens with his first effort since 2006 bomb 'Miami Vice'. 'Public Enemies provides Mann with the cops and robbers material he loves, exploring the psyche of men driven in the intense world of crime and catching criminals, he loves to get into the heads of both sides of the coin, never more so than in his classic 'Heat'. In this instance he takes on the real life bank robber John Dillinger (Johnny Depp) and the man that tracked him Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale), along the way taking in J. Edgar Hoover, the birth of the FBI and the beginning of the medias fascination with celebrity. The film focuses on the crime wave era of Dillinger in the early 30's and his eventual death. Dillinger was a man caught between the end of the wild west outlaw era and the beginning of the organized crime era.

The first thing to praise about Public Enemies is Johnny Depp, the film rests it's fedora firmly on his charisma and he doesn't disappoint, cutting a charming and charismatic figure as Dillinger, a fun loving and funny bank robber with an undoubted dangerous edge to him. Depp owns the screen and every second he is not on it the film is that bit weaker.

Now support wise everyone is good, Bale, who has come in for a lot of unfair criticism recently in my book, is fine as the square jawed, fastidious lawman, it's just that the role is a character type rather than a fully fleshed out character. We get to know Melvin Purvis is a driven and intelligent man who dressed in perfectly cut suits, but beyond that there is little delving into what makes him tick. Marion Collitard is excellent as Dilliger's girl Billy, her soulful eyes say more than her lines ever could and fortunately she strikes up an easy chemistry with Depp on screen to make that central relationship work because there really is not a great deal of time for development.

Time...that is the movies main enemy, there just isn't enough of it, the film feels like a lot of vignettes meshed together, kind of like snapshots of the characters as opposed to any meaningful development. bits of story are thrown in here and there, things whip along, bank jobs happen, then Dillinger has a dodgy stache and is at the races with Billy, it never feels like the film sets into a story driven rythym.

However this is not to detract from how entertaining and engaging these scenes are, indeed there are lots of wonderful scenes in the film and some big shootouts, although I still question the need to shoot partly in HD digital and partly in regular film, it gives an uneven feel to proceedings, one minute you are in a lavish 30's gangster era film and the next you are watching a 30's version of COPS. This is particularly evident in the well shot but jarring gun battles. Mann is a technically brilliant director and the film has some wonderful shots, but you can't help but ask "If it ain't broke why fix it ?"

The film flirts with the idea of the birth of celebrity and the techniques that were coming into law enforcement such as wire tapping, but these are brief and never more than a side diversion in between more charismatic scene stealing from Depp.

Public Enemies never quite reaches the heights of Mann's masterpiece HEAT or for that matter The Untouchables, it is good but I couldn't help but feel the great scenes could have been part of a greater movie with a longer run time. Still what is here is an erratic but entertaining gangster film with a magnetic performance from a true star in Johnny Depp.

7.5/10

'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' (with spoilers)

Try to imagine you’re at the best theme park in the world. Now try to imagine that there is a roller coaster which is so colossally huge that the track wraps all the way around the entire rest of the park (and it’s a very big one so the ride is going to last two and a half hours). Now not only does the track go all the way around the park but it dips and dives and rises and tunnels through all the other, lesser, rides as well. You’re waiting in line and you can see the track ahead of you. You’re excited; you’re going to get the all the thrills of a hundred smaller scale rides in one. You finally get strapped into your seat on the coaster and brace yourself for the most awesome ride of your life.

Then the ride starts and something goes horribly wrong. It travels so fast that not only can you not actually focus your eyes on the spectacle around you but your seat starts to vibrate and shake frenetically, making it impossible to see anything. To top all of that, every other seat on the ride is occupied by loud, obnoxious jerks who are having a ‘who can be the most annoying’ competition. Eventually it becomes such hard work trying to use your eyes that you feel the need to just close them and endure the noise around you until the ride finally stops and you stumble out of your seat. You feel drained, ripped off and wondering how it all went so wrong.

That’s what ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’ is. A roller coaster that’s so pre-occupied with being fast and throwing stuff at you that it forgets to be entertaining, coherent or still enough to let you drink in the eye candy you’re being served. I gave up trying to enjoy it very early on because the film wouldn’t let me.

But let’s talk about the good things first. Optimus Prime is still the epitome of awesomeness and the filmmakers treat the character with the respect it deserves. His voice opens and closes the film once again. His character is the only Autobot to receive a proper entrance. He actually saves the day and beats up the bad guys at the end single handed this time. The one good action sequence in the film (meaning the only one where you can vaguely make out what is going on) features Optimus taking on three Decepticons in a forest by himself. He’s the only good thing about the movie and the only likable character; the only one that talks properly.

Which brings me onto the bad things. Normal people don’t exist in Michael Bay’s universe. In Transformers 1 it was just his portrayal of black people that I found offensive. The way that every single one of them talked like this:

“HEY MAMMA, SHUT UP, GET OFF THE CARPET, AAAAAAAAAAAAH, HEY BABY, I ATE THE WHOLE PLATE, WE’RE GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIE, I’M A VIRGIN, DON’T TALK TO ME, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

And so on. In this film though, everybody is like that. We have Shia LaBeouf being implanted with Cybertronian imagery which he feels the need to doodle everywhere while being generally dorky and panicky (which he clearly wasn’t enough of in the first one). Megan Fox, who I thought did a good job in the first film, either can’t act or chooses not to since Bay is treating her like a porn star the entire running time. There’s a scene where she takes off all her clothes and changes into skimpier ones halfway through a conversation with Sam for literally no reason. We have the least convincing mother in the world courtesy of Mrs Whitwicky whose main contribution to the film is to eat a pot brownie right after she helps Sam move into college and then parade around campus tackling people. We have a psychotic college lecturer that has to be seen to be believed. We have Jon Turturro back from the first film but now working in a New York deli ( and if you don’t think he has his abusive mother work there too…....you’re sadly mistaken).

You have to spend two and half hours with these retards and you’re paying for the privilege.

You’re going to hear a lot of disgust hurled at these two Autobot twin characters that are supposed to be the comic relief and talk in that pathetic way that ghetto people speak as written by white guys who have absolutely no idea how such people actually do talk. Well they are pretty repulsive (one of them even has a good tooth which might have made a cheeky gag if just a blink and you’ll miss it throwaway but is actually displayed prominently during all the character’s scenes - just to make sure we spot it and get the joke I suppose), as is this one little mini Decepticon who has a whiny Chicago gangster wiseguy voice. For my money though, the most annoying character is Sam’s Hispanic college roommate. 80% of his dialogue was unintelligible, 100% of it involved shouting and talking quickly. He was like a super annoyer created from the most irritating parts of all the characters from the last film. From the second he appeared on screen, I wanted Megatron to rip his jugular out. I figured he was just going to be in a couple of scenes before the Autobots pick Sam up and head off on their adventure. Imagine my horror when this fucker gets to come along for the whole show. I was actually yearning for Jon Voight to come back.

I suppose I could live with this stuff if the robot vs. robot action was impressive enough but it isn’t. Most of it is shot in close up. No single shot lasts more than three seconds. With the exception of that one awesome shot of the big wheel Decepticon smashing through the road bridge and Optimus with it (which was in the trailer) there isn’t a single action shot that I can remember.

Finally, I would like to say that calling this film ‘Revenge of the Fallen’ or anything of the Fallen is tantamount to consumer fraud. The Fallen is in the film for ten minutes tops and gets taken out like such a punk at the end that I was in disbelief. I figured the plot would involve the Decepticons searching to find and revive the Fallen but actually he’s already awake and hiding on a spaceship on the moon. He wants to find some kind of deus ex machina hidden inside a pyramid which will destroy our sun and turn it into energon for the Decepticons to suck up. For some reason, he can only get off his arse and join in the action in the last ten minutes once the machine has been uncovered in Egypt, at which point we have had so much exposition and build up to both the Fallen and the machine that we expect an awesome ‘save the world’ finale.

As it happens, Optimus shows up, blows the machine up with one shot from his gun (we don’t even see it fire into the sun), fights Megatron for thirty seconds, fights the Fallen for twenty seconds and kills him with minimal effort. I won’t divulge the complete context of the scene but it was so unsatisfying for me that I did feel my money had been stolen.

To conclude, if you’ve already made up your mind to see the film (as I did) then I cannot dissuade you but if any of you are on the fence about it right now, take it from someone who knows. This film is not worth your time or your money.

4/10

By the way, did I mention there is a scene near the end where Sam dies, goes to heaven and some old dead robots talk him out of being dead because the film needs him in order to end? If that doesn’t convince you I don’t know what will.